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From D/O to W/O.

And she suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. The sudden anxiousness and terror was in the air surrounding her. Not very late that ...

Monday 7 September 2015

This part of my life... this part right here? This is called "happyness."

This is not going to be a story like Christopher Gardener, he was in way bigger troubles than what I'm trying to emphasize here.

The final year of my B-Tech Life, oh wait, let me make it last one and a half years. Those were the days when depression and anxiety caught me, not just me, many of us. Suddenly, there were too many things happening around. Placements season/ Apping/ CGPA improvement/ B-Tech Project/ Social Life/ Pressure from the family and society. This is when I started to realize how society has a say about leading my life, my own life! Strange right? Of-course it is. 

For me, all I wanted was to concentrate on "Apping/Btech project/Improving CG", but there were times when I was infinitely forced into thinking about the placements for which I've had no importance. It wasn't a significant part of my life, but, I had to think about it. As good as the tagline of "IIT" seems to be, it is also very bad, very very bad, and only an IITian can understand this. With the news about job offerings of 1.5cr to IIT students, everyone starts assuming that that's how every IITian gets paid. Why can't anyone understand there aren't jobs offering 1cr n more for the thousands of IIT'ans passing out every year. Looking at these news, our parents, relatives and social peers start to force you to get a job worth so much and insult you if you can't.

For apping and placements, cgpa is known to be critical, so this was the last chance for everyone to improve on that. Apart from these, we had to finish our BTECH projects successfully on time, it was more imp for apping students. And when you realize that you've the worst guide ever, that just makes it more miserable. Once you realize that you invest all your wealth and happiness into something and you know  very well that it's collapsing? Life turns upside down! Similar things happened in my life, almost similar :P

Inspite of investing almost 24*7 into my lab works and projects, leaving my social life behind, there was no support or encouragement I needed. Overcoming my family pressures about settlement/job/apping just added a LOT n LOT to the existing problems.

That's when depression and anxiety started to take a toll. They were teammates and I was on opposing team. Their one and only goal was to drag me down. They made me paranoid, they made me feel useless, and they stole all energy and motivation.

However, sometimes they go on a vacation, I never know how long the vacation will last, but, I get my stuff back and then concentrate on accomplishing the goals while they're away. Because, I never know when they will come back, it may be a few hours or a few days. I never know. I do know that I've to get ready to enter the battle when they return.

I got soo used to being unhappy and depressed that I'm still kind of travelling in the same phase. All my plans started to ruin right in front of my eyes, but somehow, I defeated them all. Somehow, really, I never understand what happened to my life that time :P With lots and lots of pressure around me, in all directions, I was no less than a "Freaking misanthrope" :P I survived all these only because of my friends support, mainly SRINIVAS and JUNAID. They were not totally successful to make me get over my feelings, but were there when I needed and probably why I am still writing a post now. My friends were more happy than me when I got an admission at Dal and when I successfully submitted my bachelors thesis in time. I failed to realize that some good things were happening around me :P But they did.

(P.S: I'm so bored of my life that I'm not investing the minimum amount of time on this post. :P Don't ask me why I'm writing it in the first place, coz I started the draft one year ago :P)

This fight only made me stronger (I guess :P )! Now if someone tries to steal my thunder, I am ready to let them know that they've no role to play in my life.

Found a zen pencils article which rolls on something related. Go through it. :)


The well known strangeness.

Umm.. Strange huh.. What's so strange? Me? O no, just me moving to Canada. Ever since I've been here, like a week now, I've come across many strange things that I had knew about before. But this was no tv-series or a friend's experience, but it was absolutely my personal experience, so I had no choice but to consider those differences. I've been saving up my experiences one by one just for this one post. Let me get started..

1. The first strangest thing I found was........... people, wait.. FRIENDLY people.
As I got out of the airport, there was my prof n a couple of other labmates waiting to pick me up. Starting with them, I started to wonder if I knew those people from a long time now. I mean, yeah, ofcourse I knew them but I just knew that he was a prof. And ever since, at the hotel, superstores, depts, roads... people just talk to you, ask how you've been.. like you know actually, if something like this happens in India, I might just consider him/her like a crazy person n ignore. But, people here are very friendly, it's in their DNA. Especially Haligonians (& Eastern Canadians) are known for this.  

2. Traffic rules n Transport system:
Can you imagine full speed driving vehicles suddenly stopping over for someone to cross the road? Well, not a big shot or anything.. someone as common as you. Never, right? That's exactly what happens here.. You try to cross a road and the vehicles stop for you.. even if you don't insist.

And the buses, you just need to press a button if you want a bus to stop at your destination point. No jumping from running buses or running behind the buses. Cool, isn't it?

No one uses horns on their cars, until it's a life emergency. In India, all I can hear is the honking sounds everywhere.

3.  Kitten Missing:
I found so many ads on my way reading "Missing kitten", I can only remember how "Missing person" is the only thing that happens in India, or thats the only thing considered. Thats strange, worried about a cat? woah. Lot of humanity, isn't it?

4. Public Romance:
Considering the very important fact that I'm from India, you can understand how one reacts to public romance. Don't judge me.. I'm a very broad minded person!

5. Bisexual- not funny anymore!
Those were the days in India when I teased my friends as "Gays" just for the sake of it.. Well, I'm in a place where it actually means something (Not offending anyone. Really just explaining the situation). It's really nice how these people open up to who they want to be and the govt's who consider them to be equal with the known two genders of the society. Hoping to see India like that!

6. High Calorific Foods:
I don't say that it's not there in India, but the regular quick foods here give you good amount of calories. Eat less, gain more :P Well, I can't skip mentioning the very bland food. For someone like me, they will SUFFER!

7. Adultzone alert!
I was at a hotel for a couple of days initially, and as I was going through the menu on the TV.. I came across "AdultZone" and a whole bunch of movies/videos or something.. 
I remember people crying in India because of the porn ban and here, porn on tv? Are you kidding me?

When my mind was still on this.. During orientation day, they announced that the Office provides free condoms, if students need them. They had distributed 16,000 last year. And for those who have unprotected sex, the health services team gives out birth control pills..
I don't wanna seem to be narrow minded here, but, university giving out condoms? I don't know man, this is very strange for me atleast! 

8. Tissue is the Issue:
This is a very well known problem.. The use of toilet paper in human history dates back to 6th century AD, in early medieval China. Even though water is more hygienic than a toilet paper, these people still prefer to use only tissues. Very Very Hard for us who use water!

9. Theaters and Plays:
I really wanna appreciate these people for keeping the traditional arts still alive. It was during my childhood that I used to hear about how there were plays and dramas happening in the local villages. I don't think they are being encouraged anymore. The shadow puppet theatre tradition of Andhra Pradesh is one of it's kind and really lovely! It's known as "Tholu bommalata" meaning "Dance of leather puppets". Check out this link: Tholu Bommalata.


10. Water costly than Beer: Need I explain more? :P

11. Heaters and Radiators instead of FANS and AC.

12. The water in the bathrooms is safer than the packaged mineral bottles :P
Sounds eww right? But, that's the truth. The same supply of water goes to the kitchen and bathroom, and is very clean and safe to drink even without boiling and filtration.

13. Garbage segregation:
This is one difficult task I would say. Segregating the garbage everytime you dispose something, recyclables into blue, wet biodegradables into a container and in a freezer, dry biodegradables into a transparent big bag, bathroom waste into another transparent blue/white bag.. Phew.. That's a really good way of getting things better.


These are just a little out of many happening around. I shall keep updating this post as I come across more strange things :D
The best part is that, I'm surviving all of these :P Wohhooo! Way to go ;-)

(P.S: I am not supporting or opposing anything. I'm totally trying to concentrate on how different things seem to be.)

Stay Tuned! ;)